“So … what does the average TCK life look like?”
I gulped. This wasn’t an easy question. “Um,” was the first thing I said, followed by, “Well, there is no such thing as an ‘average TCK,’ I guess …” My voice trailed off. “I mean, there are some things most TCKs have in common, but the average life? It’s different for everyone.”
Your Story, My Story
Of course you will never find two people who share exactly the same story. But let’s say that many TCKs do have one thing in common: Their stories can’t be compared. They’re too different.
Their stories are frequently unusual. For example, I have never met anyone besides my siblings who has the same ethnical background I have. And as a means to identify myself, I have often fallen into the trap of comparing myself to others …
Stop Comparing Yourself – for Good or for Bad
I was blessed to grow up bilingual, and quite a number of my friends have been too. Therefore, bilingualism is a common topic of conversation. In fact, one of my friends and I used to regularly talk about how amazing it would be to grow up trilingual.
That is, until one day when we realized that people who grow up trilingual probably wish to have grown up quadrilingual. And that those who grew up monolingually probably wish they could be in our situation. Well, that quickly made us stop complaining.
It is so easy to compare yourself to others – TCKs or not. It’s so easy to think they have it better. I suppose we all tend to think the grass looks greener on the other side.
But as they say, you can fall off two sides of a horse. While some struggle with comparison and wishing for what the other has, others have to fight pride.
Just as it is easy to think the people around us have a better life, so it is to think that you have a better life than they do. Perhaps you have had opportunities that others haven’t. Or maybe you’ve been blessed with a lot of TCK gifts that others haven’t.
But thinking your story is worse or thinking your life is better are both wrong.
A Story Written in Heaven
As Christians, we know that God is the One who holds the universe. We know that He knows best and that He loves us. Therefore, we know that the story He chose for your life, the story He chose for my life, are not accidents. It didn’t simply “happen” that you are a TCK.
He knows best, and He doesn’t make mistakes.
Maybe we should stop looking at the grass and comparing it with that on the other side of the fence and instead start trusting the Gardener. For the Gardener is also the Writer of our stories.
He is the One who holds the pen of our stories. He is the Master Storyteller. He is the best-ever Author.
Your story is neither “better” nor “worse” than mine.
My story is different to yours, as yours is different to everyone one else’s, TCK or not TCK. But because it is God who wrote it – and He knows me perfectly – I know it is perfect for me.