Today we have Acacia with us! Welcome, Acacia!
Can you tell us a bit about yourself and the different cultures you are part of?
My name is Acacia Britton. I was born in Pueblo, Colorado, USA, but grew up as a missionary kid in Uganda, East Africa. I lived there for around 13 years, from when I was 3 to 17. About every two and a half years, my family would take a five- to six-month furlough in the States to visit family and raise support from various churches.
We moved back to the States in 2019 so my brothers and I could experience “real school” (we were always homeschooled) before going to college. After finishing high school, I continued my third culture-ness by adding another culture – I moved to Albania!
I now serve the Lord in Albania with an organisation called Torchbearers. Here I am on the Student Care Staff Team at a Bible school called Crossroads Torchbearers Albania. Look it up! I’d love to see you here. It’s an amazing place for TCKs! I feel more at home here than in many places, and I have experienced such growth in my faith.
It has been quite the learning experience transitioning from missionary kid to missionary. But praise the Lord, He is faithful and walks before me.
What is one memory from your time in one of your non-passport countries that you would like to share?
There are so many memories I could share about my time in Uganda. When I look back, my favourite times, the times I miss the most, are the carefree afternoons. Just living life, hanging out with my brothers and friends. We would spend our afternoons exploring, tromping through the bush in search of fruit – jackfruit, mangoes, guavas, and all sorts of good things.
My friends and I would build forts in the bush. We made little hangout places to hide from our brothers and their friends as they tried to invade our imaginary towns and villages. And there were the times we included the boys, and they became our brothers, sons, husbands, and neighbours in our imaginary worlds as we played house or town.
Another thing that filled my afternoons was my goats – caring for them and finding places in the bush that were full of good food for them. My favourite times with my goats were when they had kids. Baby goats are the most entertaining creatures and wonderful friends to have! I would just hang out with them in the yard, letting them sleep in my lap or climb all over me. Sometimes I would run around with them, jumping off logs. It may sound like I was four, but this was when I was around 13!
I miss these times mainly because they were carefree. Back then, I could run through the bush and climb trees. I could lie in the grass, play in the rain, and get lost in an imaginary world. But now I’m an adult. When I think of Uganda, I have to ask myself: do I miss my childhood home, or do I miss being a child?
What is one thing you learned from being a TCK?
I learned many things from being a TCK. I am still learning things and connecting the dots between certain parts of who I am now and my upbringing. There are many advantages and many hard things about this life.
One thing I learned from being a TCK is how to be an observer and to value observation. Let me explain.
I’ll be blunt and say that something I struggle with when interacting with North Americans (this is an overgeneralization) is the way they are unaware of their surroundings and the people around them. They plough into situations, not taking the time to step back, observe, and understand the best way to go into a situation – a way that would be most efficient, best accepted by the culture, and best serve every party involved. This results in people being stepped on, getting hurt, and not being seen.
Of course, this is an over generalization based on experiences I have had. But the importance of being aware, of first observing before diving in, is huge. Be aware of culture, be aware of feelings, and be aware of your actions. I have learned this from experience, and it has turned me into someone who is typically quiet in group settings, observing and watching, rather than engaging.
Before you can interact with a person in the best way, you must first try to understand them and the way their culture works. Culture isn’t just different by people group, country, or ethnicity. Each person has a culture, and each interaction you have is a cross-cultural interaction, whether you are in “your” country or not.
How has being a TCK influenced your friendships and relationships?
Being a TCK has influenced my friendships and relationships in many ways – both good and bad. Previously, I touched on how I have become someone who observes rather than engages. This has influenced how my friendships are formed. But more than this, my background as a TCK has had an interesting effect on how I deal with friendship. Especially in the last year and a half, I have discovered that I have weird attachment issues. This sounds strange, so let me explain.
When I begin to form a friendship with someone, and realise they are actually interested in investing in being my friend (for some reason this surprises me sometimes), I latch onto them. It’s like, “Oh, you want to be my friend right now? Let me hold you close and cling to you because I know that soon enough, you’ll realise that’s not actually what you want, and you’ll leave.”
So, I hold my friends very close. But then at the same time, I distance them. I never fully let them in. And once our friendship gets strong enough and close enough to where I have to really open my heart, that’s when I put distance.
How can you love someone and want to be with them so much, but can’t manage to let them into your life? This is quite a personal thing to share, but I feel like it may be something other TCKs experience, and it may benefit people to know they’re not alone in this struggle!
I don’t want to sound too negative about this, or like someone who has no friends. Because I do! I am so blessed with the people God has placed in my life. In fact, there are many ways that being a TCK has helped me build friendships, especially with people of different cultures.
It’s a weird life we are blessed with. Despite the challenges, I wouldn’t trade it for any other.
How has being a TCK influenced your faith?
Growing up as a TCK, specifically as a missionary kid, has greatly influenced my faith. In both the positive and the negative.
First, the positive. I was constantly surrounded by the gospel and amazing examples of strong Christian characters. This gave me something to base my life on and mirror in my own character. Being a TCK has given me a desire to live for something more than this world, because as amazing as it is, it’s still not where I want to be, where I belong, or where I can find my joy.
As I said, I was constantly surrounded by the gospel and people who proclaimed the gospel with their lives. This was a blessing, but it also had a negative effect.
Christianity, the gospel, this amazing free gift we are so privileged to have, became boring. It was part of everyday life. I felt no need to pursue it because it just happened anyway, whether I engaged in it or not. Because I took on this disposition, I saw no growth.
Now that I do care about my faith and am pursuing the Lord, people expect more of me because of my past and my upbringing in the Word. This has affected me negatively too. When I can’t fulfil their expectations, I feel ashamed and like I’m not good enough.
People look at me as a missionary kid: “Oh, she must be a Bible expert and so mature in her faith!” When in reality, I only began pursuing the Lord of my own volition around two and a half years ago.
This is not just a TCK struggle. I’d say it’s a struggle for a pastor’s kid or anyone else who grew up in a Christian family without making their faith their own.
What is one thing you would like to tell your fellow TCKs?
As my final thought, I want to share with you something I know you’ve heard a thousand times. But I hope that the repetition of it doesn’t turn you deaf towards it.
This world is not your home. You weren’t made for it. And actually, this feeling of not belonging that we as TCKs feel so strongly is a blessing. We have the gift (even though at times it feels more like a curse) of not being comfortable anywhere in this world. The question is, how do you respond to it?
Do you live in self-pity and misery? Or do you look to the one place you will be home – with Jesus in heaven?
Looking to my heavenly home has been so encouraging to me. I have hope, even in times that I feel so alone and out of place. Of course, I feel lost sometimes, and I cry out to God, “Why do I have to be here, why do I have to wait, why can’t I be home with you now?!” But thinking about heaven, I feel peace. I feel comfort. I feel at home.
Home is a strange word, and I know, I’m preaching to the choir. (For all you TCKs who don’t know English sayings, here’s a translation: I’m telling you something you already know so well!) People have asked me where home is for me, or what home means to me, and my go-to answer is: “Where my people are.” Where my family is, which would be Colorado right now. But more and more, every time I go “home,” it feels less like home.
As I accumulate more people I love all over the world and my family spreads out, more and more nowhere feels like home. But this makes me so much more excited for my real home. It also makes me so much more appreciative of the little taste of home I can have here – the presence of the Lord.
His presence is my home, and I hate that I am still separated from Him by my sin, my laziness, the world, and myself. I can’t wait for the day when I am fully with him. Chillin‘ with Jesus, totally at home. Finally.
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