Know Thyself: A Christian Journey to Self-Mastery

According to historians, the popular saying “Know Thyself” was first chiselled into the stonework of Apollo’s temple. For centuries, it has lingered and been adopted by various creeds and religions to suit their purposes. 

I heard the saying for the first time two years ago, around the time I discovered Marcus Aurelius and his book, Meditations. However, I ended up not reading Meditations after learning from the introduction that Aurelius reportedly despised Christians. He referred to them as “atheists,” despite all his talk on self-control and tolerance. 

Nonetheless, the idea of introspection profoundly impacted me, though perhaps not in the same way it has affected others. While many have pursued self-contentment, self-confidence, and self-worship, I, as a Christian, reached a different conclusion. “Knowing myself” has encouraged me to take stock of my weaknesses and strengths and to entrust them to the only God able and willing to use them for His glory. And as a TCK who daily struggles to figure out her place in the grand scheme of things, this has been a sure, though difficult, path to self-discovery. 

Awaken to a Greater Glory

“Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!” 
Psalm 115:1 ESV

I watched the sunrise for the very first time last year. 

I woke up early, while it was still frigid and dusky outside, and made my way beyond the field to an old, wooden bench. There, I sat down and sang, watching the mountains, mighty and majestic in their dark silhouette against the awakening sky. 

When the first glimpse of the sun’s rays shone over the imposing mountains, I stood up and waited, singing louder in anticipation. Finally, it came. That glorious ball of fire, alive for centuries, rolled over the mountains. In the space of ten or so minutes, the mountains were lost in greater glory. 

I shouted and screamed and praised God. I do not recall seeing anything more beautiful in my life. 

Those mountains remind me of myself; the sun, of the glory of God. 

Without the sun, the mountains were merely imposing. Though glorious, they were limited in their glory, and covered with darkness. Then the sun came, and like a beacon of hope, a blazing lighthouse, it shed its light and glory upon the mountains. As the onlooker, I did not say, “Oh, what beautiful mountains!” but, “Oh, what a glorious sun!”

As we journey to knowing ourselves better, we must remember that our knowledge is darkened, just like the mountains were dark before the sun rose. We need the One who knows us better than we know ourselves to shine forth His truths and eternal perspectives upon our minds. But to hear His voice above ours and the voice of the enemy, we must first learn to…

Delight in Solitude 

“And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone.” 
Matthew 14:23 ESV

“Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me.”
John 16:32b ESV

For years, I have struggled with anxiety. Partly due to my struggle with self-identity as a TCK, I find myself relying heavily on the approval of others to feel good about who and what God has made me to be. But in a short space of time, some of my closest friendships dissolved, and I found myself alone more than ever before.

It was around this time that I listened to a sermon about solitude. The concept struck me with delight. In the sermon, the pastor mentioned how, when he had felt called to ministry, he informed his mentor. His mentor’s first response was, “Can you be alone?” 

“Can you be alone?”

Those words struck me with infinite weight. 

As a TCK, I know what it means to feel alone, even in the midst of a crowd. I have left friends behind and entered spaces where no one understands my background. I often find myself isolated in the midst of a crowd and against my best wishes. But as I began to seek solitude intentionally, and to delight in it rather than avoid it, things started to appear more and more in God’s light. 

I was able to investigate the root causes of my anxieties and fears and to present them to God. I began to learn more about who and what God has made me to be, apart from the approval and affirmation of others. More importantly, I was learning more about God. 

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.”
Psalm 62:5 ESV

In our incredibly busy world, there is a beauty and delight in God, and a pruning of our souls that can only happen in the safe confines of solitude. 

How else must we sort through the world’s trash and find wisdom’s true treasure if we are constantly surrounded by the world’s noise? How else would we find out who we are in Christ, and who God is for us, without unhurried contemplation, a quiet heart, and an open Bible? 

It is during these quiet times that we receive wisdom for our daily living. We learn to be selfless, instead of self-centered. Content instead of conniving. We also learn to…

Choose Windows over Mirrors 

“For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.”
James 1:23–24 ESV 

Windows are infinitely better than mirrors. They tell us more about ourselves than mirrors ever could because they help us to see outside of ourselves. Windows place us in relation to things that are infinitely larger than we are: the sun, the moon, the sky, and the trees. Through this perspective, we receive a more accurate reflection of where we fit in the vastness of God’s created universe. 

As we look through a window, seeing and admiring God’s handiwork, we get to momentarily forget ourselves, “lose ourselves” if you will, so that we might find a more abundant joy. And this is freedom. 

As TCKs,  we don’t often experience the joys of belonging. This chronic feeling of being alienated can develop in us a temptation to look only to ourselves (like in a mirror) and become the sole judge of our actions.

But to know ourselves on our own terms is dangerous. 

When we look in the mirror, and with no comparison, judge ourselves as capable and strong and wise, we have only deceived ourselves. But when we look through the window of God’s word, gazing in awe at the heart of the Father, we can only then truly learn what it means to become…

Masters of Ourselves and Servants of God

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.”
2 Timothy 3:16–17 ESV

While it is true that we must be masters of ourselves — there are many verses in the Scriptures to this effect — introspection alone cannot save us. Mirrors can reveal much, but they cannot transform. To know ourselves according to God’s standard, we must start by looking out.

 When we look through the window of God’s Word, we are not left to gaze endlessly at our own reflections, straining to define our worth. Instead, we are invited to lift our eyes — to look at Christ, to behold His beauty, and to let His light reshape us. And as His truth becomes ours, we are instructed, convicted, and refined until we become miniature, though imperfect, reflections of Him. 
It is only through this, the daily viewing of Christ’s face and beauty, that we develop the right eyes to look at ourselves and judge ourselves rightly. 

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