TCK Voices: Not Danish Enough for Denmark

Today we have Hannah Esther with us! Welcome, Hannah Esther!

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and the different cultures you are part of?

I’m a full-blooded Dane (from Denmark) who grew up in East Africa. I first moved to Kenya when I was half a year old, then to Tanzania at four, Denmark at 11, Kenya again at 16, Denmark again at 17, and Kenya again again at 18. This whole conundrum included seven schools (one in TZ, five in DK [three boarding], and one in Kenya), several pass-overs in Sweden and Ethiopia, and a family that, while I was boarding, moved back and forth between Denmark, Sudan, and Ethiopia.

My Danish/English language is speckled with German, Arabic, Swahili, and bits of other languages I’ve picked up from friends and schools. I speak like an American, spell with British English, and use elements of language like y’all and ain’t.

Yikes.

Through all of this, my own culture has been complete shagala bagala (great Swahili word for mess). When I’m outside Denmark, I’m Danish, and when I’m in Denmark, I never know what to say. I’m connected to so many cultures through things like shared Scandinavian traditions, East African approaches to respect and social life, and my own speech patterns that I’m “allowed to use” but really have no “actual” connection to.

What is the strangest thing you have done as a TCK? 

When I first arrived in Denmark, I had no concept of walking around freely on the street. My best friend at the time, bless her poor confused brain, had to explain why we were allowed to walk around town, why I didn’t have to cross the street to avoid stone hedges and bushes (snakes, obviously), and why I couldn’t go around sticking my head in other people’s mailboxes even though they looked really cool.

What is the hardest thing about being a TCK?

I think the hardest thing about being a TCK is finding yourself in situations that completely misunderstand or disregard your identity. You can explain to people how the whole “third culture” situation works, and they can be so mean in return. I think this is true for faith as well.

Sometimes my friends really tried to understand where I was coming from, but it often landed on the “I was two weeks in Kenya, I totally get you.”

I’ve been told lots of times that I was obviously wrong about all of it because my passport was Danish and that I was bragging with my English pronunciation and my stories about growing up in East Africa. Danish culture is especially cruel to people who stick out of the usual, and the people around me looked at me strangely when I didn’t understand pop-culture or social conduct and called me an idiot for not being able to spell and count in Danish, again disregarding that I could spell and count in two other languages. 

I wasn’t dumb, I was different. It was hard to stay in the mindset that everyone else has misunderstood you, rather than that they might be right about you. I was lucky to have a mom who stood her ground on it.

Who was someone you met in one of your non-passport countries that made a difference in your life, and how?

During my stay in Denmark, my access to the international community was very limited. During boarding, I was moved further and further away from the capital and into the countryside. My mental health was deteriorating, and not even the school counselor could help me through the struggles of being a TCK, as she had never heard of it before. 

Halfway through high school, I decided I couldn’t take it any longer and moved to Kenya, where my parents were living at the time. I had gotten settled in when, almost out of the blue, my dad brought a coworker to visit. He was Swedish and had three boys, almost exactly the same age as me and my two siblings, who were also Christians and who had grown up in Northern Africa/Middle East. 

Believe me when I tell you this was absolutely God-sent. We quickly hit it off, and soon they had introduced us to rock climbing, Jungeltelegrafen, and “The Lord of the Rings.” As TCKs, we long for connection and understanding, and it was so amazing to finally just “be” with them.

How has being a TCK influenced your faith?

From the first time I heard of the concept “TCK,” I have been told that Jesus was a TCK himself. When the world around me didn’t understand either my Christian or TCK identity, I knew that God understood both.

Being a TCK has taught me that Christianity doesn’t look the same everywhere. I’ve learned to differentiate between godly/moral rights and wrongs and cultural rights and wrongs. I’ve also had a firm foundation to stay on throughout the turmoil of moving, saying goodbye, going to new places, and all the ups and downs of that. There’s always been the one Person who accompanied me to every country and through every relationship. When other TCKs struggle with the concept of home, I can say that I find it in God.

What is one thing you would like to tell your fellow TCKs?

Stay weird, folks. It’s a gift. Don’t let the world around you tell you any different.

Thank you so much for sharing with us, Hannah Esther!