Fear.
Afraid to be fully seen and known. Hiding in a hole in my heart.
The deepest part of me creating a vacuum for the realest part of me. Those eyes seeking and searching to reduce me down to one simple assumption.
Communicating disappointments, glaring judgement. Creating my reality.
My wounds drinking in the unspoken like a dry desert ground groveling for a drop of rain. Seeking validation. Confirming my own twisted thoughts of all that I am and will never be. Finding comfort in the agreeing eyes analyzing my flaws.
Why do I find comfort in the pain?
The agonizing stares searching for a place to land, permanently resting on the surface of my scars. Scars that tell stories of where I’ve been, fighting endlessly to define who I am.
They run deep. Way down to the core, of the center, of the middle of the cadence of my breath.
The inhales and exhales trying to catch the rhythm of the shifting eyes. Searching and waiting for the definition of my very being.
I wait, and wait, and wait.
Unsure of the verdict but certain it will be synonymous with my pain. Eyes locked. Waiting for words but nothing is spoken.
Only tears. Tears of the one looking back at me. Loud pain in her eyes. As she realizes she is the culprit of her own demise.
Never resting in the beauty spoken by her Beholder. The One who crafted, and created, and molded every moment.
Her Creator.
The One who holds her beginning, her end, but especially this very moment.
Speaking truth to her as her gaze shifts upwards. Now locking eyes with the One, the Potter, the very Artist of this sculpture. His eyes speak truth.
The truth about me and who He has made me to be.
My knees hit the floor as His love overwhelms me. Made in perfection, magnificent beauty. My scars speaking of the gifts that will come through me.
I retreat from my hiding place, realizing that I am safe.
Safe to accept me, love me, and be me fully because my Father has spoken.
Next: Reborn
Guest Writer
Tamra Shepherd
currently resides in the United States. She loves to travel, spreading the love of God amongst the nations through missions. She actively serves in ministry within her local community and her home church. She has felt the Lord leading her to pursue creative writing to express her love for Jesus and to serve the Body of Christ.
tcksforchrist.com 
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