What if Being “Behind” Isn’t a Bad Thing?

I’ve often felt “behind” in life.

I went to college later than my peers, starting my freshman year at 21 instead of the typical 18.

Granted, that was because I had been living and teaching abroad between 18–20 and then working to save up for overseas tuition fees for American schooling. But in spite of these adventures, I sometimes still felt weird about being behind other people my age in college.

I was in my late 20s when I had my first “real” boyfriend, and I was in my 30s when I got married.

These days, many of my peers are having kids and getting promotions. I, on the other hand, am starting over in a different country, which includes figuring out what my career options look like now and being not quite ready for kids.

It’s easy to look at my life and pick out all the ways I seem behind. Can you relate?

Late to the Trend

A few months ago, I wended my way to a recently trending location in Korea. It was a luxurious mall with an impressive library, its books lining shelves that spanned four floors (72 feet high), and planet-like sculptures hanging from the ceiling.

When the library first opened, it had been such a hot spot that hundreds (maybe thousands) of people crowded in to take pictures, and the roads around the mall were backed up with traffic for almost a mile.

However, when I went, the trend was pretty much over. It was still busy, but not suffocating.

“It’s nice to be late to the trend,” I thought as I admired the library and got a few quick shots for Instagram.

It’s nice to be late … I pondered that idea as I rode the subway home.

What if being behind isn’t always a bad thing? What if you’re not really late? What if a delay is a blessing in disguise?

I was late to college … but I had some wonderful travels and life experiences beforehand that were only possible because I chose an atypical route.

I was late to dating and marriage … but I was able to form a clearer idea of who I was during the waiting, and I married a good man whom I wouldn’t have been ready for earlier (and vice versa).

I may be “behind” in climbing one specific career ladder … but I’ve had a variety of interesting experiences that have shaped and grown me, and I’ve been able to offer my skills in different ways and places. Besides, so much of my writing work has come out of those life experiences.

Everything is Beautiful in Its Time

I think of some biblical characters who also experienced delay.

Joseph, favored-son-turned-slave, waited for years, including time in prison, before he saw his dreams fulfilled (literally). Moses, once a crown prince, had a 40-year “detour” as a shepherd in the desert, which turned out to be a necessary step in fulfilling his destiny. David was promised a kingdom and then spent years on the run before he could step into power.

I can imagine each of these individuals feeling behind at times! I’m sure they questioned their path and perhaps even God’s promises. And yet each part of their journey was used … redeemed … reworked for good.

As much as feeling behind can be frustrating, it’s also such an intriguing thought to me that God may use a delay or a detour to facilitate a blessing — to lead to a greater good — to provide a gift that we may only realize in hindsight.

The Bible asserts that there is a time for everything, and that God “has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecc. 3:11).

Our timelines may be different from our peers, but they are no less beautiful.

So if you feel behind today, please don’t lose heart!

You never know what good may come of “being late.” May you soon be able to look back and see that your unusual path has brought you to pleasant places. And may you enjoy the journey.