Before the Ledge

The man you

See standing

Today

Wasn’t always

Able to do so.

The weight

Was heavy,

And the agony

Was long.

The assault

Taught me

I wasn’t very strong,

But all along,

I was trying

To rely

On myself alone.

The heart that

Spills onto

These pages

Wasn’t always

Elated.

Darkness and

Sickness

Were its companions.

Things that

Were wrong—

I had a hand in.

When it all began,

It wasn’t so.

But that was

Long ago,

Before the torture

And the noise

That mocked me,

Just kept me

Trying

To uphold

Myself enough

To breathe.

They couldn’t even see—

But they sure did talk,

While the end I stalked.

And I came

Right up

To the edge.

I had no remorse

For myself,

As I stepped off

That ledge—

Only for those

I had hurt.

Well, maybe

For a selfish need

To be fulfilled

By helping

Those I love,

But that was far

Above

Where I stood—

And believed

I never could.

So that first step off

Wasn’t so hard.

And the fall

Wasn’t either.

It really

Came before this—

When I ignored

His want

To heal

What tormented me,

And His desire

To use it

To strengthen

A soul

That had been

Called early,

But hid in fear

Of being seen

In my nakedness

And shame,

Figuring it was

All the same

If I just gave up—

Rather than strain

To stay.

But Your Spirit

Flew straight

Into my heart,

And the joy

Lit up

The dark—

All the shadows

Hidden in

The crevices.

It showed me

I never had

To bow to this.

His power

Is greater,

And His strength

Created

The very things

That I thought

Enslaved me—

But also

What sets me free.

All I had to do

Was seek

And see—

But somehow,

That was so hard

When the outlook

Was bleak.

Too good

To be true,

Too miraculous

To not be made up.

Then He

Took me up

To look back down

On it all.

He was there—

Pleading

For me

To call on Him,

Even before

I stepped foot

On that ledge,

Or hid

On the edge,

Before He caught me,

And I said my pledge—

To plead the same

For those still walking

That same path,

Living within agony

They’re unable

To tame or outlast—

A pain

They never had to endure,

Caused by chains

From the past.

Read next: Wind Upon the Road

---

---