Dear Younger Me,
I want you to know your very real needs are not too big of a burden to share with God or your loved ones. He never created you to live on automatic pilot, numbing what lies beneath.
Christ will lead you home.
I want you to know that when you unburden your heart, the responses people give you will not always be in line with God’s heart for you. Not everyone will understand what it is like for you to return “home” to a country more alien to you than the “foreign” country you left behind.
No one (but God) truly knows the depths of loss and trauma suffered by your family. Yet know this: Christ will help you to acknowledge your need for His comfort. By His grace, He will lead you home.
God will close doors to protect and heal you.
Yes, at first you’ll try to be strong for God and those struggling around you. But that’s because you will not yet know the most beautiful expression of faith is kneeling and weeping at the feet of Jesus, as He weeps with you. You will not yet know that faith is admitting your need for God’s continual deliverance (2 Cor. 1:10).
Still in need of His gentle humbling, you will wrongfully believe that His will for you is to rescue your parents, siblings, and friends while denying that you, in fact, need His saving. But praise God, He will close doors to protect and heal you.
Nothing will be wasted.
Younger me, I want you to know human weakness is not a curse, caused by our own and our forefathers’ sin. I want you to know God will free you from this awful accusation. He will patiently discipline you to receive your weakness as a gift. Like the apostle Paul, your afflictions will be used to teach you how to rely on God, rather than yourself (2 Cor. 1:9).
Oh, there will be a time when you will believe that to “belong” to the church body means earning your place back, when, in truth, “it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast” (Eph. 2:8–9 ESV). And yes, in that prideful striving, you will wound yourself and others, causing much grief. But know this: nothing will be wasted.
Christ defines you.
At first, you will see yourself and those you love as problems to be fixed, rather than souls to be treasured. You will listen to accusations of condemnation, even deciding to withdraw at times, to “lighten” the load of others.
You will let such accusations affirm you in your old identity (as a sinner, condemned) rather than your new identity in Christ Jesus (as a new creation, no more in condemnation). But you will be freed as you come to know that not your past, but Christ, defines you.
Christ is the author and perfecter of our faith.
In changing your mind in His perfect timing and way, He will grow you up to know and trust that “in Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace” (Eph. 1:7 ESV).
Through it all, God will give you the deepest desire of your heart. The desire He uncovered in you as an 11-year-old girl: to know Him, as your young adult friend did. A woman, who had come to faith after a deeply traumatic childhood, experiencing the depths of Christ’s love and grace.
Dear younger me, all of your experiences will only prove to you that Christ is the author and perfecter of our faith (Heb. 12:2).
Christ grows us up to know Him, the Truth.
I want you to know that all along, God destined you to know the Bible, not as a book of rules, but as the Living Word. It speaks of the hope of glory, Christ in you. Through everything you walk through, you will come to know God and His saving grace.
Praise God, He will uproot your belief in your ability to save yourself and others. He will empower you to love and be loved, to forgive and be forgiven. For you will come to know Him intimately, learning to release yourself and others into His capable and sovereign hands, to live by faith and not by sight.
For Christ grows us up to know Him, the Truth:
“And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.” Colossians 2:13–15 ESV
God is faithful in our faithlessness.
But I want you to know that even as you cling to sin, pain, and shame- not yet grasping the depths of these riches for you in Christ Jesus- your Abba Father will not stop holding tight to you.
He will patiently and gently teach you how to:
“lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1–2 ESV
He will prove His eternal promise to you that:
“if we are faithless, he remains faithful – for he cannot deny himself.” 2 Timothy 2:13 ESV
God will rewrite your past as you taste of His love for the lost.
I want you to know that God will uproot the choking worries of this world, the deceit of bitterness, and man’s approval that have taken you captive. He will, one by one, remove all that has ever prevented His beautiful Word from taking root in you. I am thankful that there, hidden beneath, He will reveal the good (born again) soil of a soft, new, and trusting heart (Christ in you).
He will exchange your prideful ways and thoughts for His meek ones as you sit with Scripture and invite Him to speak to you personally and intimately through His Word. Oh child of God, watch for the Word of God so faithfully sown by your parents and others. It will break open to new life, filling you with a fresh hunger to read your Bible daily, as God sows seeds into your heart for a new harvest.
He will prepare you to give a reason for your hope. As you meet with many prodigals and seekers, He will enable and empower you to share the Good News amongst them, with gentleness and deep compassion. Right there, He will rewrite your past, as you taste His love for the lost.
You will grow in the fear and delight of the Lord.
I want you to know that He will give you back (redeem) what you thought you had lost. Yes, God truly does take what the enemy meant for evil and turns it into good. Oh, how you will delight in His weaving as He connects you with His body.
He will reveal sweet fellowship and timely encouragement in the Holy Spirit. You will exchange testimonies, Scriptures, and worship songs that have blessed you. You will share the deep burdens of your hearts with one another. He will teach you to watch and pray fervently with and for one another.
Praise God, He “will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, [His] great army, which [He] sent among you” (Joel 2:25 ESV). Christ’s joyful obedience will transform you. You will grow in the fear and delight of the Lord.
You will live in the promise.
And on those days the enemy attacks your faith, God will teach you to humble yourself beneath His mighty hand. You will learn to simply confess your weakness and need. There, Christ’s perfect love for you will overflow. His Word and Spirit shall cast out all fear and unbelief. He will perfect His power in your weakness.
And He will continually remind you that it is not human strength that saves us, but His. Beholding the starry night sky, you will live into the promise:
“[...] He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name; by the greatness of his might and because he is strong in power, not one is missing.” Isaiah 40:26 ESV
You will bow to Christ as your true Head.
I want you to know that one day, you will know yourself called and chosen by God. You will take Christ’s hand to step out of condemnation into the light of His living Word. For the Holy Spirit will continually remind you of all Jesus has already spoken to you. Through Christ’s patient humbling work, you will bow to Him alone as your true Head.
Shine, Jesus, shine!
As an old hymn reminds us,[1] one day you too will look full into Christ’s wonderful face. In the light of His glory and grace, you will come to embody the truth: in reflecting Christ, you are the light of the world (Matt. 5:14). Shine, Jesus, shine!
Much love,
Your Older Self, who wants you to know:
“But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior.” Titus 3:4–6 ESV
“The former priests were many in number, because they were prevented by death from continuing in office, but he [Christ] holds his priesthood permanently, because he continues forever. Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.” Hebrews 7:23–25 ESV, emphasis added
Reference:
[1]Lemmel, Helen. 1922. Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
TCKs for Christ: Staff Writer
Anna Smit
loves looking for and finding Jesus, where her flesh tries to convince her He isn’t alive and active. She is a wife, mother (to two TCKs), friend, neighbor, Christian writer and freelance academic writing coach. Alongside being a staff writer for TCKs for Christ, she also volunteers as the TCK Voices Manager, getting to do what she loves most: inviting and empowering people to share their testimonies to God’s glory and grace.
tcksforchrist.com 
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