Today we have Lynette with us. Welcome!
Can you tell us a bit about yourself and the different cultures you are part of?
Hi, I’m Lynette! I’m a writer, teacher, and former radio host who grew up between three countries. Now I live in South Korea with my Korean husband (who is also a TCK). I’ve moved around 19 times in my 30-something years of life.
I was born in the United Kingdom, and I moved around different parts of England as a PK (Pastor’s Kid). The churches we served were also quite international, and I have extended family from other countries, so I experienced aspects of several different cultures as a child.
When I was a teenager, God called my parents to be missionaries, and so we moved to the States to train with our sending organization. And then, while in my late teens, God called me personally to go as an English teacher missionary to Laos.
Later, I moved back to the States for college, and after further studies and a period of working in the UK, I moved to South Korea to teach English. I met my husband here, and so now I’m learning more about this new culture as I settle in Korea.
If you could choose one place from your travels as a TCK to revisit, where would it be and why?
I’d love to visit Laos again. It’s a beautiful country, but it would be fun to go back and relive old memories because that was such a pivotal chapter in my life.
Through the kindness of the locals and my missionary team, even when I was way out of my comfort zone and learning as I went along, I felt a beautiful sense of acceptance and support that helped me bloom. I learned so much about myself and how God could work through me during that time. I changed from a shy teen to a confident young woman.
What is one thing you learned from being a TCK?
Nowhere is perfect. Sometimes, amid culture shock or yet another move, it’s easy to find yourself looking at a certain place with nostalgic, rose-colored glasses. You may start to believe that the grass is greener … somewhere else.
But experience has taught me that there is no utopia. Each country, city, and neighborhood has its pros and cons. It has things it does well and things it does poorly. There is beauty, and there is ugliness.
So, we all have things we can learn from each culture. And in the end, the grass is greener where you water it.
How has being a TCK influenced your friendships/relationships?
Generally, I enjoy making new friends and I like to go deep quickly. But I’ve noticed that I can also lean away quickly because I’m used to moving on elsewhere or having other people leave.
Goodbyes are tough, no matter how many you’ve experienced. I tend to deal with the pain of goodbyes by mentally and emotionally distancing myself from a relationship before the physical goodbye has even happened. Sometimes subconscious habits kick in even if no one is leaving, and I start to lean away as if anticipating a loss.
It’s normal for friendships and relationships to shift and develop with both time and distance – and sometimes we naturally grow apart – but I don’t want to change a dynamic or hurt a friend simply by my emotional carelessness.
So, I’m learning how to leave well and how to be present for a friendship in its entirety, rather than mentally shutting it down prematurely.
What characteristic of God have you learned most about in your life as a TCK?
God is a creative and faithful provider. His provision may not always come in the timing or manner we expect, or perhaps even want – and it can be so hard to be patient and trust! But when we look back, we can trace where He was looking after us.
I see this in my journey individually and as part of a pastoral/missionary family.
For example, God miraculously healed my mother in confirmation of His calling to missions, enabling her to walk and talk and be strong again after a long time in a wheelchair, struggling with chronic fatigue syndrome.
When we were fundraising, God inspired people to donate the exact amount of money we needed just in time for our launch date.
God provided an impossible sense of peace when a laptop full of precious pictures and documents was stolen in Laos.
When I lost my job during COVID-19, God opened an unexpected door to Korea, where the paperwork was processed quickly despite pandemic challenges.
God provided a new friend when I was lonely and wondering how I would survive in a church with a big language barrier.
I can look back on these and other experiences and remember that God is, indeed, a provider. Even if we can’t see a way forward, or if we’re not sure how to meet a need, God can take care of it.
“If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:30–33 NIV
What is one thing you would like to tell your fellow TCKs?
This life is hard, and it is beautiful. It’s possible to hold both truths together, without ignoring the pain or minimizing the gifts of your TCK life.
tcksforchrist.com 
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