TCK Voices: Adventures of Raising Third Culture Kids

Today, we have Stephanie with us, a mom of TCKs. Welcome, Stephanie!

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and the cultures you and your family are part of? 

My husband and I have been blessed to raise our children with both American and Mexican roots. We moved to Mexico just over a year after getting married and began full-time ministry there. Our first daughter was born while we were in language school, and our second child, a son, arrived during our second church plant in a small rural town called La Capilla del Refugio, just outside of Guadalajara. He was born in a tiny, rustic clinic that was running on a generator during his delivery — something that is normal in Mexico, but I know sounds a little terrifying to others.

In 2022, our lives took a sudden turn when we had to return to the US due to our daughter’s health. Reentering American culture was unexpectedly difficult. Although we looked like we belonged, we quickly realized we had become a third-culture family. We did not quite fit in either world anymore. That season was full of emotional challenges, not just for me as a mom, but for my daughter, who struggled to understand why everything felt unfamiliar in a place where people were telling us, “Welcome back home.”

While in the States, we welcomed our third child, our first baby born in the US. But even during that time, our hearts remained tied to Mexico. We are so grateful the Lord has brought healing to our daughter, and we are now preparing to return to Mexico in January to once again plant roots and continue the ministry God has given us.

Living between two cultures has been both beautiful and complex. Our kids are growing up with a blend of identities, and while that comes with unique challenges, it also gives them a rich view of the world and of the God who is present in every culture and every story.

What is the strangest thing you have done as a TCK mama?

One of the strangest or unexpected things I have had to do is explain to our family back in the States that, even though my husband and I are American, our children, born in Mexico, were not automatically US citizens on paper. We had to go through the process of applying for their American paperwork before we could even bring them to the US. In Mexico, they were considered Mexican citizens first.

It was hard for our extended family to understand. They assumed that because we were American, our kids were too … end of story! But the reality of international birth and cross-border legalities can be complicated. Honestly, it is something they still do not fully grasp. As a TCK mama, that disconnect can be hard. It is one of those quiet, emotional challenges of living between two worlds, navigating not just cultures, but the expectations and misunderstandings of those we love most.

What is an advantage of being a mom of TCKs?

One of the biggest advantages of raising TCKs is watching my children develop a deeper sense of compassion. They are learning from a young age that the world is bigger than them, that people live and think differently, and that that is okay. Being bilingual, less materialistic, and more relational are beautiful byproducts of a childhood lived between cultures.

How do you think being a TCK has influenced your children’s friendships and relationships?

This is a hard question to answer because, like many aspects of TCK life, it comes with both blessings and challenges. My children are still young, and one of the sweet things I have noticed is how quickly they make friends. Everyone is their amigo, which is a beautiful trait.

But the harder side of that is the goodbyes. We have gone through several transitions, and building deep, lasting friendships has been difficult. As a mom, it is hard to watch my children say goodbye so often.

Still, I trust that the Lord is using every goodbye to shape their hearts and draw them closer to Him. He is the one constant in all our transitions, and I believe He is planting seeds of empathy and eternal perspective in my children … even when friendships feel temporary.

How has being a mom of TCKs grown your faith?

In more ways than I can count — and in many ways, the Lord is still growing and teaching me. One of the biggest lessons has been learning that God is the one constant in a life full of change. When everything feels unfamiliar or uncertain, He remains steady. He understands when no one else can. He sees our fears, tears, every goodbye, and every transition, and He meets us there with comfort.

It has also deepened my trust in His care for my children. As a mom, it is humbling (and sometimes hard) to understand that He loves and knows my children even more than I do. But that truth has brought me so much peace, especially when I cannot control their circumstances or shield them from the harder parts of this life. Knowing that their lives are in His hands has strengthened my faith more than anything else.

What is one last thing you would like to tell TCKs?

There was a season of transition that was especially difficult for me. I remember standing in front of the mirror, tears streaming down my face, thinking, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.” I was in a new role, in a different place, and nothing felt familiar. But in that quiet, painful moment, I felt the Lord gently speak to my heart:

“Your identity is not in where you live, what you do, or who you are with. Your identity is in Me. You are My child, and I love you.”

If there is one thing I could leave with TCKs, it is this: Your identity is not rooted in your passport, your language, or even your experiences; it is rooted in Christ. You belong to Him, and that never changes, no matter how many times your surroundings do.

If I can raise my TCKs to truly know and believe that, I will consider it one of the greatest successes of my life.

Thank you so much for sharing with us, Stephanie!