“Why is it so hard for me to be content?”
Frustration leaked through my tone as I turned to my mom, one hand curled around my coffee mug. “Everyone else around me seems so happy to live in one place for years and build a life and family where they grew up. But for me, I always feel this restlessness, a longing to go out there and travel the world.”
I gestured to the people walking past us.
“Why can’t I be like them? Why can’t I be content with where I am?”
This conversation came after a year of adjusting to life back in the States and still finding myself restless to leave. I desperately wanted to put down roots and find contentment in my present season of life, but no matter how hard I tried, there was always this deep longing to go back to the mission field.
Will I ever be happy living in the States? I wondered.
As TCKs, we’re wired for mobility. Most of us grow up moving from place to place, never quite feeling like we’re home, always aching for people and places many miles away, no matter where we are.
That makes contentment challenging. If you’re goal-oriented, like me, then it’s tempting to always be looking ahead to the next thing, the next season, the next milestone, impatient for it to come now.
But while we as TCKs may wrestle more than others with contentment, it’s not impossible to attain, elusive as it may feel. Throughout the years of struggling with discontentment, I’ve learned a few things about how to find contentment, even while your heart may beat for another place.
Contentment starts with giving thanks.
Contentment doesn’t start with a feeling; it starts with an action.
Namely, the action of giving thanks to the Lord.
I recently read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. She talks about how giving thanks is the very foundation of living well. Here’s what she says:
“The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live…. He has penetrated the whole mystery of life: giving thanks for everything.”
It’s amazing how small and yet revolutionary the practice of giving thanks can be for our lives.
Shortly after moving back to the States, I started keeping a gratitude journal where I would list the things I was grateful for each day. I wrote down small, simple things like:
- Soft, warm blankets
- Spotted sunshine on the carpet
- Rich hot chocolate
- Friends who invite me over for dinner
During a time when I struggled to find the good in my life, this simple practice changed my outlook and reminded me that blessings often lie in the small things.
Through this exercise of noticing and documenting, you might discover that you have far more to be grateful for than you thought.
You’ve given thanks. You’ve taken note of the blessings all around you.
Now what? What about all those dreams of the future that stir your heart, those desires that you can’t let go of?
Entrust your dreams of the future to God.
Give them over to Him. Lay them at His feet. Tell Him, down to the smallest detail, what your dreams are for the future. Don’t hold anything back. Be honest and open.
If He stores all our tears in a bottle (Ps. 56:8) and sees even a tiny sparrow fall (Matt. 10:29–31), then we can trust Him to keep all our dreams safely in the palm of His hand.
While God’s plan for our lives is often different from ours, He still cares about the desires of our hearts, especially if they’re God-honoring ones, like wanting a family or desiring to go to the mission field.
You never know how God may use those childhood dreams or talents of yours down the road. He is the God of good gifts, after all.
He gave Ruth a husband and protector in Boaz.
He gave childless Hannah a son.
He gave His Son Jesus to the world through David’s line.
He gave Simeon the chance to see Jesus before Simeon died.
While we may not always understand God’s ways, and our lives may turn out very differently from what we imagined, let yourself rest in knowing that God is a trustworthy keeper of our dreams.
Maximize the present.
Waiting is hard. Painful, even. We want things to happen now, fast, right away. But God tugs us back, whispering in our ear, Be still. Wait and see what I will do.
In the meantime, He calls us to thrive right where we are. To practice the fruits of the Spirit, to serve, and to uphold the body of Christ around us.
This is also the perfect time to start taking steps toward your dreams for the future. Is there a skill you need to learn? Start taking lessons. Is there a topic you should know more about? Start reading all the books you can find on it. Map out a plan and start exploring open doors.
Your dreams may feel impossible, as though they’re out of your control. But there’s always something you can be doing now to get one step closer to achieving them, even as you learn to find contentment in your present season.
And you never know what might come out of your decision to faithfully pursue a dream and trust God to guide your steps along the way.
Luke 16:10 says,
“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much” (ESV).
When we are faithful in the small things right in front of us, we are better prepared for the big things God may have for us ahead.
Pursue Jesus, the greatest gift of all.
The beginning of a new year can be a contentment killer.
Along with the New Year comes the pressure of setting lofty resolutions for the next 12 months (which, according to statistics, 80% of people fail to reach by February).
Do we ever stop to recognize that more important than earthly goals and ambitions is a relationship with Jesus?
Life may feel disappointing to you right now. It may feel as though you’re the only one not home with your family, not going to college, not married, not chasing your dreams.
But all of those things are secondary. Good things to desire, yes. But not as important as what you already have.
He is the greatest gift ever given to the world.
And yet, so often we fail to remember this as believers.
The things of the world, even good things, start creeping in and becoming idols in our lives.
In the muddle of chasing after temporary things, we fail to realize that a life with Jesus is already a good, complete, satisfying life.
We don’t need anything more than that.
In Jesus, we can find all the joy and contentment our hearts need. We can find joy in following the mission He has set out for us wherever we find ourselves.
You don’t have to be a thousand miles across the ocean to be impacting lives. You can do it here. Right now.
Contentment is a daily battle.
Contentment isn’t a one-and-done deal.
It’s daily wrestling. It involves daily laying down your desires and picking up your cross. It’s whispering a prayer to Jesus a hundred times a day when comparison and discontentment try to steal your heart.
It’s deliberately slowing down and learning to seek out all the little gifts God gives you in a day.
But, dear TCK, it is worth it.
As Ann Voskamp says, it is “[t]he joy of small that makes life large.”
As you intentionally cultivate contentment each day, I think you’ll find that your life will only grow fuller and deeper as you discover how beautiful the present really is. And how beautiful is the One who makes our present worth it.
Reference:
Voskamp, Ann. 2011. One Thousand Gifts. Thomas Nelson.
TCKs for Christ: Staff Writer
Kristianne Hassman
is an MK from South Africa and has called Africa her home for the past 15 years. As a writer, she seeks to use her gifts to encourage other TCKs that they are not alone. Besides writing, she enjoys reading voraciously, playing piano and violin, and helping with her family’s ministry. You can connect with her at Whimsical Wanderings or on Instagram, @KristianneHassman_Author.
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