Change

So many lasts,
Instances where I don’t tell people everything,
Times when I say “If God wills,” knowing that in this case He doesn’t,
Heartbreaks,
Shattered expectations,
Thoughts of “have I told you I’m moving yet?”
Jumbled emotions,
Misunderstandings,
Will-be severed relationships,
Interest and obligations I’m unable to fulfill,
Teary showers,
Painful realizations,
Unexplainable feelings,
Not really okays,
Moments when I want to spill,
Tipping points,
Make-it-count last moments,
Wailing face emojis that truly express what I feel,
Feelings of not belonging.
So much pain.
So much change.

And yet…
So many cherished friendships,
Precious moments,
Signs that I’m loved,
People who understand,
Unique conversations,
Interesting cultural adoptions,
Moments when I draw closer to God,
Times when I realize the good things,
Gifts that mean so much,
Amazing last times,
Encouraging words,
Embraces from God,
Comforting actions,
People who pray for me,
Experiences I would have never had,
Loving reactions,
Times that don’t meet my expectations of pain, which is a good thing,
Provisions from God,
Learning experiences,
Thoughts of peace and submission,
Times when I know I can trust in God,
Songs that are Spirit-filled,
Hugs.
So much love.
So much joy.
So much hope.
So much peace.
So much faith.
So much change.

Read next: Dialogue

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