TCK Voices: “Guapo” Just Like His Dad

Today, we have Lauren with us. Welcome, Lauren! 

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and the different cultures you and your family are part of?

I am a missionary to the Dominican Republic, where my family and I have served for nearly nine years after moving from our small hometown of Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina. We have four children. Our eldest was two years old when we moved here. We traveled back to the United States to give birth to each of our next three children, then we returned to the Dominican Republic when each newborn was between four and six months old. Consequently, even though all our children were born in the US, the Dominican Republic feels like home to them. Visiting the States can feel strange, as we live a cross-cultural life where our children’s hearts hold both their American heritage and their Dominican reality. 

Our family’s experience even includes adopting traditions from other local groups, like the Italian community’s practice of eating pandoro at Christmas. In our day-to-day life, my two older girls take ballet, and my son practices taekwondo. 

Alongside our family life, my husband and I, together with another couple, established Seminario Bautista International (SBI). This institution has grown from 16 students to 68 and provides deep theological education for national pastors at an affordable price, now reaching online students in countries like Honduras, Spain, and the US. 

What is one funny memory from your time in the Dominican Republic that you would like to share?

When we first moved, my two-year-old son found the transition very difficult; he went from being a comical toddler to being very serious, easily angered, and a picky eater because his entire world — his home, climate, and friends — had changed. 

During this time, I had a funny misunderstanding involving the word guapo. We had learned Spanish from a teacher from Mexico, where guapo means handsome. However, in Dominican Spanish, it means grouchy or irritated. People would come up to my son and say, “Oh, he’s so guapo!” Thinking they were calling him handsome, I would smile and say, “Thank you, he’s just like his father!” I later realized I was actually telling everyone that my son was grouchy just like his dad!

What is one thing you learned from being a mom of TCKs?

I have learned that I cannot carry the expectations of anyone else, nor can I try to force my children’s experiences to match my own childhood or what I see other families doing on social media. Being a TCK mom means embracing our unique reality and letting my children’s childhood be theirs alone. We make our own rules, which include the freedom of homeschooling and enjoying “PE” by snorkeling at the local reef. 

Instead of pressing them to fit into a perfectly American or Dominican mold, we are teaching them that their hearts are big enough to hold love for both their American passport country and their Dominican home.

Who was someone that your children met in your mission field that made a difference in their lives?

Three young seminary students made a profound difference in my eldest son’s life when he was struggling with the move and refusing to interact with anyone. These men didn’t pressure him to speak; instead, they patiently looked for ways to connect by dropping off his favorite treats, like chocolate milk, mangoes, and tostones (fried plantains), and then walking away. Eventually, my son felt safe enough to climb into one of their laps at church, and today these men are still in our church as spiritual mentors for him. They even helped his language confidence by being patient and never laughing when he made mistakes in Spanish.

How has being a mom of TCKs grown your faith?

Being a TCK mom has forced me to trust in God’s sovereignty rather than my own ability to fix everything. I am a worrier by nature, especially regarding my children’s health, schooling, and friendships. However, I have watched God consistently provide exactly what they need — whether it was by providing a stable home for us to purchase so we no longer had to rent or by connecting us with a friend from the States to tutor my children via video call when we struggled with homeschooling. Seeing God answer my children’s specific prayers has also encouraged me to place my faith more firmly in Him.

Could you end with a prayer for our TCK readers and their families?

Dear heavenly Father, we come to You today to ask for Your help. Father, please be the comforter and guide when our children feel lost. Help their identity be found in You, the One in whose image they are created. We ask that You provide loving parents who can give them confidence and security. We pray that You will bring them to a saving knowledge of You, so that their belonging will be rooted in Christ and His salvation. 

Father, give them diligence in their language studies and patience as they adjust to new cultures. Send friends who will show them grace and love as they learn. Please bless them with friendships that cross borders, time zones, and gaps between visits. Father, we desire that they and their parents will have Christ-honoring relationships in whatever country they are currently in. 

Finally, we ask for protection spiritually, physically, and emotionally. May you be their hiding place and refuge always. Amen.

Thank you so much for sharing with us, Lauren!