TCK Voices: Uniquely Made in Ethiopia, Malawi, Ireland, Kenya, and Oklahoma

Today, we have Sophia with us. Welcome, Sophia!

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and the different cultures you are part of?

I am originally from Africa. My parents are from Malawi in southern Africa, but I was born and raised in Ethiopia. I lived in the capital, Addis Ababa, until I was 16 years old, growing up in a Christian school surrounded by international people. My family background is in diplomacy: my father worked in journalism for a diplomatic organization focusing on African issues, and my mother was an English language coordinator at the United Nations headquarters for Africa.

At age 16, I moved to Ireland alone to finish high school at an all-girls Catholic boarding school because the Christian school in Ethiopia only went up to ninth grade. After graduating at 19, I moved to Kenya for four years to complete my bachelor’s degree at a secular university.

I have only lived in my passport country, Malawi, for about one year and four months of my life. For the past 16 years, I have lived in Oklahoma, United States, where I came for graduate school, and I am currently working toward my doctoral degree while serving in my church.

I love music — I sing and play instruments — and I enjoy walking in nature, journaling, and art.

What is the strangest thing you have done as a TCK?

The strangest thing I have done as a TCK is learning Spanish in Kenya. While I was doing my bachelor’s degree there, I had to learn a language, and I became quite fluent in Spanish. People often give me the strangest looks when I tell them I speak Spanish, because I have never lived in Latin America or Spain. I still use the language today in the US.

What is one thing you learned from being a TCK?

One thing I have gained from being a TCK is the ability to relate to all kinds of people. This experience has been priceless because it has helped me avoid making judgments based on how people look or sound. I find that I am very flexible and adaptable. For instance, if I visit Filipino friends, I can eat their food without hesitation, and I never struggle to understand different accents because I was exposed to so many cultures growing up.

Has your TCK experience made it difficult to make new friends?

My TCK experience definitely made making friends difficult because every country has different “rules” for friendship. In Ethiopia or Kenya, you could talk over lunch and immediately be friends, but in Ireland and the US, it takes much longer to build trust. In the US, I struggled because I’d be vulnerable and open, but I realized that for many, kindness does not equal friendship. I found it confusing that some groups might seem serious but are actually more direct, while others seem very happy and open but aren’t looking for immediate friendship.

For my fellow TCKs, I would say:

• Give yourself grace and understand that your mindset is naturally different because of your background.
• Don’t force yourself to fit in; it’s okay to be different.
• Be confident in who you are.
• Keep being friendly even if you feel rejected, because you have to be friendly to make friends.
• Use discernment. Look for people who show openness by asking you questions and truly trying to understand you.

Who was someone that made a difference in your life?

Someone who made a huge difference in my life was a friend I met in Ethiopia when we were just seven and eight years old. She was an American missionary kid, and though we have traveled to different countries, we have stayed in touch via email and have been friends for over 30 years. She was the one who influenced me to come to Jesus as a teenager. I saw the integrity and the “righteousness of Jesus” in her life, and her love for me — despite my own habits at the time — eventually led me to fully accept Christ.

What characteristic of God have you learned most about in your life as a TCK?

The characteristic of God I have learned most about as a TCK is His faithfulness. I never experienced a time when I was lonely or without a Christian community, even though I was often traveling to these different countries alone. God always provided protection, mercy, and people who legitimately loved Jesus to care for me.

Furthermore, being a Christian has made being a TCK much easier because when I struggled with my identity and where I belonged, the Lord spoke to my heart and told me, “You belong with me, and I am your home.” This gave me peace, and I realized that my true home is the kingdom of God.

Have you ever wished you could trade your TCK experience for a “normal” childhood? Why?

I used to always wish I could trade my experience for a “normal” childhood. Whenever I met people who had lived in the same town their whole lives, with the same neighbors and pastors since they were five, I would have done anything for that sense of stability and belonging.

While people told me my life was an adventure, I felt that adventure came at a cost to my identity and stability. Now that I am older, I am finally settling into who I am, and I feel a stronger sense of belonging in my current church than I ever have before.

What advice would you give your younger TCK self?

I would tell my younger self, “Sophia, it’s going to be okay.” I’d tell myself that I would face challenges but would come out well. I would also speak to myself the scripture that says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that my soul needs to know that well (Ps. 139:14).

My advice would be to be adventurous and not be afraid. I used to over-analyze whether I’d be okay if I stepped out of my comfort zone or took a bus in a new place, but I wish I had been bolder and tried new things sooner.

God’s faithfulness has been the attribute that has helped me most on this journey. I hold onto the promise in Psalm 138:8, which says that “the LORD will perfect that which concerns me” (NKJV) and that He “will fulfill His purpose for me” (ESV). When I feel lost or wonder why I am in Tulsa instead of Malawi, this grounds me in the truth that He is in control and has a plan.

What is one thing you would like to tell your fellow TCKs?

One thing I would like to tell my fellow TCKs is that you are uniquely designed and prepared by God for His purpose. I often think of Psalm 139, which says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It is not a mistake that you might not feel like you culturally fit in one specific place; God purposed your life, your background, and even your physical appearance as a “fingerprint” for your generation and His kingdom.

How can we pray for you?

Please pray that the Lord would bring more TCKs and people with diverse cultural backgrounds across my path. I want to be able to encourage them and build deep friendships with people who have shared the experience of living in different nations.

Thank you so much for sharing with us, Sophia!